How to Ask a Woman Out and Be Successful at It
How to Ask a Woman Out
I’m not an expert in this matter, but I’ve had my share of experiences where I’ve either been successful or was a sheer failure.
In essence, I’ve had Yes and Nos. I’m also about the 1% of men who have been asked out. Not once, twice, or thrice. (Oil dey my head)
But, here is what I’ve learned. If a woman likes you, she won’t stop at anything till she lets you know how she feels about you. If she doesn’t like you, there is nothing you can do about it. Let it go.
If you keep pestering, maybe she’d date you out of pity, but that’s the last thing you ever want. Or you make a complete fool of yourself.
The number 1 rule in asking a woman out is DON’T BE A SIMP. I wrote about simping some days ago. You can read it here. If you want to get a quick, strong NO, go ahead.
It is important to note that women like kind people; please, there is a difference between being kind and being a simp.
As a guy, take your time before asking a lady out. Please get to know her as a friend. You don’t want to start dating only to hate the person you liked some weeks ago.
The downside of waiting is that you might lose her to a faster and sharper man. I’m not capping. This is from experience. If another person comes along who is not taking his time like you are, he might take your space.
But that’s fine. It’s a good sign for you. She is not meant for you (at least, this is the consolation we’d tell ourselves. We’d never know the truth)
Next, let her know how you feel without asking her out. Give her clues about your intentions. Please share it in small doses and watch her response.
If she is ignoring them, there is a problem o. But if she is reciprocating, that might be a good sign. Notice my use of the word “might.” It is not a guarantee.
She can show all the good signs and green lights and still say NO. Women are funny creatures. Isn’t that why we love them?
Well, if she is not bulging to the signs. That’s the best time to stop trying. Enter another shop. But if she bulges, tell her how you feel about her and that you are ready to be committed.
Be mature about it. At this stage, ensure the rapport between you both is strong enough. Don’t over-promise. Don’t try to be sleek or funny or whatever.
Be precise and let her know what you want. Ask her if it is something she wants as well. You can put her in a box by telling her to think about it. (I will advise this, so you don’t get a NO you are unprepared for. Also, you want her to think about it)
It should not be a difficult call if she has been hinting at your signs from the beginning. I advise you have this conversation physically. Watch her face, movement, and other non-verbal cues.
Suppose she’s smiling, giggling, and all of that. Mission accomplished. Just wait for your YES. But, if she is not doing anything, brace up, brother. You just lost the battle. But… not the war.
Anyways, if she says NO, depending on how the NO was said (I can’t describe this, but I believe you understand), you can decide to push a bit harder or take your L and go home.
Some ladies want you to push harder, but most will tell you right then and there. Irrespective, if you still get a NO after the second trial, please swallow it and go home.
You’ve not failed at this point. You have failed when you now take it against her. Remember, it is her choice to make. If she doesn’t like you and she says NO, she has done you a big favour.
It is just another NO. Yes, you’ve invested a lot of time and money, but if she is not interested, you can’t force her. She made her call. Accept it.
But as a sharp guy, read the room. If she would say NO, she most likely have given you the signal long ago. You were just blinded by love.
This does not mean that some girls can play along perfectly till the day they’d give you NO.
In summary, that’s How to Ask a Woman Out successfully.
to be continued…
Note: there are so many things that happen in between that I did not cover in this article. For instance, ask the right questions, go on dates, etc but that was not my focus in this article.
