On Relationships and Breakups

On Relationships and Breakups

Maintaining relationships can be very hard and I think we underestimate this fact a lot. We have an idea of what the perfect love story looks like. We live in fantasies that cloud our judgment on the realities of managing a relationship.

Also, misinformation can be another factor. We often tend to believe that infidelity is the major reason for breakups but that is not entirely true. So, we believe if we find someone that won’t cheat on us, that is the key to a long-lasting relationship

Yes, infidelity is one of the top reasons for breakups but the primary reason for breakups is basic incompatibility which of course spirals into so many other things like commitment issues, communication issues, etc.

Every relationship comes with its dynamics and learning to understand that dynamic is the first step to having a successful marriage.

Often time, we want to love people the way we think they want to be loved as opposed to loving them the way they want to be loved.

“I like my coffee without sugar”
“I don’t want people wearing my slippers”
“I don’t like you making these decisions without seeking my consent”
“I want us to spend more time talking”
“I prefer we talk about issues immediately” etc.

Having to make compromises is what relationships are about. It is not an ego game. It is meeting each other in the middle with the mindset to move forward.

Hence, some of the hardest questions to answer before commitment

1. Do I share the same values as this person?
2. Is this person reasonable enough to engage in hard conversations?
3. Can I make compromises for this person? etc.

Maybe, if we look beyond the emotional rollercoaster that comes with relationships and do the due diligence to ask not only ourselves these hard questions but also our potential partners, just maybe, we would have more relationships standing the test of time.

to be continued…