On Triggers and Insecurities
We all have our insecurities, and there is always something that triggers our insecurities from time to time. According to WebMD, Insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy (not being good enough) and uncertainty. In addition, it produces anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations.
We all have triggers and insecurities. Yet, many of us have no idea that we are insecure. Yet, I have recently read many posts and tweets of people defending their Insecurity with zodiac signs, temperament types, etc. While ignorance is a significant factor, it also insinuates that they have no plans to be better because they have no idea that that trait is bad or toxic.
However, our insecurities never surface until there is a trigger. It could be a statement, an event, someone’s disposition, a reoccurrence of the initial cause of the Insecurity, etc. Unfortunately, many of us react negatively instead of finding the source of our insecurities using our triggers as a map.
Whenever your reaction to something makes you feel inadequate, rather than believe that story, what you should do is to ask yourself why it makes you feel that way. But, again, your responsibility is to be in control, not some words, events, whatsoever.
We trade our control to our insecurities and their triggers too quickly. Every Insecurity comes from a source – an event, experience, environment, etc., most of which we imbibe unconsciously. So rather than get angry or emotional when you are triggered, you should go in search of the source.
For instance, there is the story of a lady whose parents had a terrible marriage. The father was evil and unfair to the mum. This lady saw the dead maltreat and beat the mother so often, and as such, she became insecure about men. In her search for a suitable husband, she saw every joke as a sign that the guy she dated would be just like her father. Meanwhile, the guy was just an optimistic person.
Rather than correct herself and work on her mindset, she caved into her fears and insecurities and could not keep her relationship.
What you must never do is indulge your insecurities. The signal is clear – if it makes you feel inadequate, you need to deal with that feeling by finding the source and embracing it. What we do instead is that we try to run away from our insecurities rather than face and embrace them.
Ask questions like – why is this word/event triggering me? Why am I angry or sad, or emotional?
Many relationships do not work because many are yet to deal with their insecurities. As such, we tend to project it on each other.
It is high time you took charge of your life. Yes, bad things have happened to you, but why are you still holding on to them?
Deal with them – your triggers and insecurities!