How to Correct Children

How to Correct Children

How to Correct Children

I wrote about gentle parenting here, and I thought it fitting to write a follow-up post about how to correct children. Remember, I am no expert, and neither am I a parent. Here are two ways to correct children:

  1. Be empathetic
  2. Deal with the act, not the child.

In the last post, empathy was seen as one of the foundations of gentle parenting. It is also an essential step in correcting kids.

By being emphatic, you are trying to understand the child by being in the child’s position. One common thing with young children is that they don’t understand their emotions and feelings well enough.

Some throw tantrums when they are frustrated. Some are violent when they are stressed. Some don’t talk at all when they are in a terrible place. They don’t understand what it means to be in these places. So, naturally, they deploy an escape mechanism that’s easiest for them.

As a parent or older adult, your job is to guide them through this phase. Unfortunately, many of us cannot do this because we also did not get the help we needed. As adults, we still are unable to control our emotions adequately. Little wonder we get frustrated and angry when our kids or younger ones misbehave by a stretch.

When a child misbehaves, the first thing you want to do is to understand why they did what they did rather than punish them. They need to realize that what they did was wrong, and they won’t come to that realization if you don’t understand them first.

So, remain calm, listen to them, help them process their emotions, and then correct and set boundaries. By boundaries, I mean help them understand how to handle such a situation if it happens again and let them know the consequences.

Secondly, discipline is not you against the child. It is you against that act of the child. When a child does something wrong, you want to help the child not do that again. Resorting to name-calling or using derogatory terms is an attack on the child.

Gentle parenting involves talking to your child politely and respectfully. Remember that respect is an integral foundation of gentle parenting. Help them understand what they did is wrong and why it is wrong.

Using derogatory terms, name-calling, and swear words, end up damaging the child’s esteem, and that’s the last thing you want for any child. 

A lot of adults today have damaged esteem because of things like this. We think we cannot do anything good because that’s what we grew up hearing. If you are in such a class, you need therapy before trying to raise kids.

Take care of yourself, heal from the past, and become a wholesome, healthy human before you can give your kids the best. Gentle parenting is difficult because we were not raised that way. Hence, it isn’t easy to give what you don’t have.

But if you don’t want to raise damaged kids, you have two options

  1. Don’t give birth
  2. Go for therapy, heal, then consider childbirth.

to be continued…

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