Any friendship that cannot give and receive brutal honesty is likely to go down the drain. If you are the kind of person that hates brutal honesty, you will have yes people around you who will either.
- Let go of the friendship soon enough because they cannot cope
- Or lead you to your doom soon enough.
Brutal honesty is one of the foundations of any good friendship. We probably shouldn’t be friends if I cannot call you out on your mistakes.
More than just calling your friends out, you must be receptive to being called out on your errors.
Receiving corrections is what good friendship is about.
Commit to brutal honesty. You do not want people to please you, stroke your ego, and make you feel good.
You do not want friends that are constantly lying to you. You should not be lying to them as well.
If someone is lying in a friendship, don’t allow it. Call them out. If they are unwilling to make a change and tell the truth, walk away.
Lying consistently for whatever reason is a red flag, which means such a person cannot be trusted.
Brutal honesty forces you to embrace higher priorities. It helps you give and receive solid feedback.
But be careful of brutal honesty as it can be a red flag. Brutal honesty without empathy is toxicity.
Brutal honesty does not mean saying things the way you want to without considering how your friend will feel or receive it.
Brutal honesty should be constructive, emphatic, positive, and encouraging. Brutal honesty is not condescending, aggressive, or hurtful.
Brutal honesty is not against the person but against the action. It is not an attack on the self-esteem of the other.
It is not unidirectional. You are not flawless or perfect as well. If you want to be brutally honest, you must be ready to receive it as well.
It is not about blackmailing, manipulating, or abusing. It is about becoming better.
Maybe a better word for brutal honesty is healthy honesty but I have chosen the former to only drive home a point.
to be continued…