Childhood Trauma Disguising as Love Languages. I have been wondering of recent the correlation between our childhood trauma and our Love Languages. Could our love languages be a product of unresolved childhood trauma or neglect? While our trauma might be passed, traumatizing experiences tend to linger on with us and become a significant part of…
We All Have Privileges We have been conditioned for most of the time to see privilege as having financial power, especially in this part of the world. When we hear the word “privilege,” our minds immediately interpret it as the ability to have everything one needs. While this is a type of privilege, it is…
The Power of Positive Self-Talk We are constantly talking to ourselves. For example, when we are angry, we speak to ourselves to analyze the situation, trying to justify our anger. Or when we are blindly in love with a person, we talk ourselves in, refusing to pay attention to the red flags that person has…
On Insecurities We all have our insecurities but we do not all know that we have them And you cannot solve a problem that you do not know you have. For most of the time, we think this is how we are. It is how we were created. Meanwhile, we are lost, stuck in someone…
The Power of Positive Affirmation I know you have read a lot of self help books and truth be told, a lot of self help books are BS. However, one thing that we must never take for granted is the power of positive affirmation. Words are very powerful. For shaming to happen successfully, words are…
The Information Threat Theory of Shame In one of my previous articles, I spoke about the Attributional Theory of Shame but today, I want to talk on The Information Threat Theory of Shame From an evolutionary perspective, shame is a defense against devaluation. In essence, it is designed to achieve three things Discourage a person…
Comparative Suffering There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest.” Lori Gottlieb Have you heard statements like, “Thank God we are even able to eat. What about those who do not have anything to eat?”“You are even lucky you have someone to call daddy. What about people like…
The Actual and Ideal Self The actual self is who we currently are – it is defined within the boundaries of what we do and believe in, how we think, feel, look, judge, react, etc. The real self is what others see – or better still, it is what others think they see and it…
Failing and Falling I am afraid of failing and falling. There is too much talk about about showing up, about being strong and courageous but there is little talk on the power of failure, discomfort, falling and hurting. I am a strong advocate of showing up but I have been so silent on the power…
Impostor Syndrome. You do not believe that you are as good as people think you are, right? Maybe you are correct But it is a good thing. It means you have their attention. Make it count until you are caught. Until then, the world is your stage.
